Our children are part of our families, and as you are filing for a divorce, it can seem natural to vent frustrations to young listeners. With high emotions, it can also be tempting to lash out at your ex in front of your child. The problem that we sometimes don’t realize is that this is one of the worst things you can do for your child, and it may backfire on you in court. Parental alienation, as described by the attorneys of Kessler & Solomiany LLC, is a style of manipulation that is dangerous, and it can cause lifelong harm. To avoid scarring your children with psychological warfare, take these points into consideration:

  • Do not blame your former spouse for unfortunate circumstances after the divorce. If the divorce did not turn out as well as you would have hoped, do not complain about it to your children. There is nothing they can do to alter the outcome of the divorce, and they are not the ones to blame for your current situation.
  • Do not condemn the actions of your former spouse in front of your children. This is by far the most difficult instance to avoid. The actions of your former spouse may be detestable, but that person is still your child’s parent. Criticizing and destroying your ex with words will only confuse your children because they love both of their parents. They still need to have the best possible relationship with Mom and Dad, so do not go out of your way to drag the other’s name through the mud.
  • Communicate directly with your former spouse. Under no circumstances should you employ your children to spy on the other parent, deliver messages on your behalf, or act as couriers for important documents. They do not understand the consequences of their actions, and your raw reactions may expose uncomfortable truths that your child is not prepared to comprehend.
  • Do not schedule special events that overlap with your ex’s custody time. Your children are going to be dragged in the middle of the dispute between you and your ex if you do this. No matter which parent the child decides to spend time with, they will be uncomfortable and feel guilty.
  • Do not encourage your children to pick a side of the argument. The children need a relationship with both parents, and dragging them into the dispute will only alienate them. The divorce is between you, your spouse, and your attorneys.
  • Do not discuss the court hearings, divorce settlements, or any other aspects of the divorce with your child. While it is important to have an explanation for your children when they ask specific questions about this situation, you should avoid sharing specific details about the divorce with your children. If you feel the need to discuss matters with someone, reach out to an adult friend or your divorce lawyers.

If you want what’s best for your children, do not alienate them from their other parent. Let them enjoy their childhood without the daily stresses of the divorce, and they will be healthier and happier because of it. Find a trustworthy law firm to handle the divorce settlement so you can spend time with your children.


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It is a well known fact that marriage is supposed to be difficult, but is there a way to avoid being that complacent couple, together because they don’t want to risk being alone? Where does one draw the line between problems and deal breakers?

The only way to find your own personal answers to these questions is to face the problems you and your partner are experiencing without hesitancy. It is also important be self aware and recognize if your unhappiness is due to your relationship or you yourself. The website of Austin marriage counselor Kathleen Snyder says, “When one or both parties are struggling with deep-seated personal issues, that may negatively impact the relationship.”

Sometimes, figuring out what your problems are is just as difficult as dealing with them. In order to be more analytical, there are many common marriage problems to consider. If you are having trouble, a Houston divorce lawyer can help you figure out exactly what problems you may be having.

Although independence can be healthy, especially for your friendships and careers, leading separate lives can be detrimental to a relationship. You don’t have to take your partner everywhere, but inviting them to office Christmas parties or bringing them around your friends on occasion will connect your lives while still maintaining your own personal identities.

Another thing to be careful about is crossing improper boundaries with friends and co-workers. It is okay to vent or express gratitude to people you trust, but if you find yourself having more intimate conversations with someone other than your partner, keep your distance from that person for awhile and try to re-establish that level of intimacy with your partner.

Does one person in your relationship make all the suggestions for plans or never ask how the other person’s day was? Even if by some miracle the other person does not notice or mind, it still creates an unhealthy dynamic in a marriage. Both parties are equally important, so treat your partner and yourself like so.

Divorce should not be taken lightly. However, if you feel like living with your partner is worse than living without them would be, it is fortunately a socially acceptable option in our modern society.


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