Parental Alienation

Our children are part of our families, and as you are filing for a divorce, it can seem natural to vent frustrations to young listeners. With high emotions, it can also be tempting to lash out at your ex in front of your child. The problem that we sometimes don’t realize is that this is one of the worst things you can do for your child, and it may backfire on you in court. Parental alienation, as described by the attorneys of Kessler & Solomiany LLC, is a style of manipulation that is dangerous, and it can cause lifelong harm. To avoid scarring your children with psychological warfare, take these points into consideration:

  • Do not blame your former spouse for unfortunate circumstances after the divorce. If the divorce did not turn out as well as you would have hoped, do not complain about it to your children. There is nothing they can do to alter the outcome of the divorce, and they are not the ones to blame for your current situation.
  • Do not condemn the actions of your former spouse in front of your children. This is by far the most difficult instance to avoid. The actions of your former spouse may be detestable, but that person is still your child’s parent. Criticizing and destroying your ex with words will only confuse your children because they love both of their parents. They still need to have the best possible relationship with Mom and Dad, so do not go out of your way to drag the other’s name through the mud.
  • Communicate directly with your former spouse. Under no circumstances should you employ your children to spy on the other parent, deliver messages on your behalf, or act as couriers for important documents. They do not understand the consequences of their actions, and your raw reactions may expose uncomfortable truths that your child is not prepared to comprehend.
  • Do not schedule special events that overlap with your ex’s custody time. Your children are going to be dragged in the middle of the dispute between you and your ex if you do this. No matter which parent the child decides to spend time with, they will be uncomfortable and feel guilty.
  • Do not encourage your children to pick a side of the argument. The children need a relationship with both parents, and dragging them into the dispute will only alienate them. The divorce is between you, your spouse, and your attorneys.
  • Do not discuss the court hearings, divorce settlements, or any other aspects of the divorce with your child. While it is important to have an explanation for your children when they ask specific questions about this situation, you should avoid sharing specific details about the divorce with your children. If you feel the need to discuss matters with someone, reach out to an adult friend or your divorce lawyers.

If you want what’s best for your children, do not alienate them from their other parent. Let them enjoy their childhood without the daily stresses of the divorce, and they will be healthier and happier because of it. Find a trustworthy law firm to handle the divorce settlement so you can spend time with your children.


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